"Natural Hair Ain't For Everybody" and other stupid ideas

I haven't been on here since March, and once again, there is a good reason. Shortly after my last post, Rob and I discovered that I was pregnant.. Terrible timing, being that I had just finished UXO school, but we're excited and I have just 6 weeks left till Baby Phoebe is here.. So... Let's recap!  

The Janet Jackson weave, after I had Fierce David cut it. 

Self-explanatory :)

A new sew-in. After just a few weeks, my afro  roots were peeking out along the edges.

Same sew-in, a weekend in Vegas with my cousin Tia. That is a virgin strawberry daiquiri.

Fierce David refused to "Big Chop" me, so I went to the barbershop and let a guy do it for $10

Rob was not a fan of the Big Chop (nor was I), so Fierce David hot combed my TWA and ..

Gave me this fabulous look while my hair was cornrowed underneath.

The top of my sew-in. I love having it sewn in on the net.

Same sew-in, Baby Phoebe and I en route to see daddy in Oregon

Same sew-in, on its last leg, re-vamped with pin curls

Au Naturel

My meaty face and my TWA

After using Kinky Curly-- great for this length

The day after using Kinky Curly

So much shrikage! But I love my tight kinks and coils

My attempt at a faux hawk. #FAIL

Kickin' it old school with some cornrows and a cheap ponytail

Wore the ponytail look for about a month (had the cornrows redone  weekly)

Blowout before getting my hair cornrowed

My hair as of 10/22/2011 after using a little Kinky Curly

I've worn a lot of looks this year.. Spent over $1000 this year on hair. I have an appointment to get micro braids on Monday. I love my TWA now. It really is freeing to feel good about the hair on my head. Even though I'm sporting a little double chin and a full pregnant figure, I feel good about how I look. When I smile at people, I know that they are seeing me, and I've gotten so many compliments from complete strangers about my hair. The problem? The above style, simplistic as it is, takes about 40 min to complete, and another hour or so to dry. In 36 days, there will be a baby here, and I cannot--will not-- spend 100 minutes a day doing my hair. It's healthy and thick, my edges are full and filled in, but it's not long enough for me to wear a ponytail or pin it up just yet. So, I'm getting braids, that will stay in 2-3 months, come hell or high water.

I have come across several posts online about how "natural hair ain't for everybody." I get what people are trying to convey when they say that. I completely disagree with that statement, and here is why: It is the hair you were born with. You learned to hate your texture and look and you (or your mother) opted to use chemicals to alter it. Most of the people that make this statement have relaxed hair, can't remember what their natural hair looks and feels like, and rely on chemicals and heat tools to maintain their hair in an unnatural state. I'm not judging. If my relaxed hair was as long and healthy as it was when I was 10, I'd probably still have it. I just remember how limiting relaxed hair was to me.

I travel a lot and once I'm working as a UXO tech, I'll travel even more. Rob and I love the beach, we love to do things outdoors, go sightseeing and enjoy new experiences. There have been so many times, Rob has suggested we go somewhere and I have opted out because of my hair. After paying $65 for a relaxer or $300 for a Remy sew-in, snorkeling in Hawaii is out of the question. I have also opted out of going places because I felt my hair didn't look right. This hair on my head has been such a hindrance over the years. With my TWA, I can spend 40 min in the mirror, put a flower in my hair and be ready to go out on the town. I can hop in the pool or the ocean and be comfortable with my hair just coiling up close to my scalp. Two weeks ago, we were at a football game, it was windy, I was wearing a cheap ponytail and was so scared it was gonna blow away. I let Rob and his parents know that if it did blow off, I was going to need them to chase it down, because at 7.5 months pregnant, I'm kinda slow. 

I have been using the Kinky Curly products, and I love them. They define your natural curl pattern and they're all natural-- a little pricey, but worth it. I don't feel like using them every day though, as it takes about 40 minutes. One application usually lasts me about 3 days, cause I play in my hair too much. I bought an afro pic, some Argan oil and some headbands. I also rock my full fro from time to time. It's like black cotton candy. It feels weightless. When I rock my fro, that is when I get the "natural hair ain't for everybody" stares from people. Older black men seem to love it, and brothers with braids and dreads seem to appreciate the boldness. I can always count on some hot young thing in a lace front wig with fake eyelashes to throw me the side eye. Women my mother's age also seem to take issue with the fro. So what? I'm in transition. I love my hair.. and my fro is "fresha than a mutha.."

If you don't like natural hair-- don't go natural. Just be sensitive to the fact that it takes courage to start this journey. It's hard to let go of your hair-- no matter how unhealthy my hair was, the thought of cutting it into a Teeny Weeny Afro scared me. I went into this knowing that it would take 3-4 years for my hair to really grow and thrive. I transitioned for 7 months before I big chopped in June. I'm barely a year in. Transitioning for me was a stage of fear and denial. I knew I should've just chopped it all off and rocked a TWA, but I couldn't do it. I was so worried that Rob would hate it, and he did, but I also hated it. Within 24 hours of my Big Chop, I was in Fierce David's salon, getting Remy sewn in. I had finally let all the dead hair go, but I still needed some length to feel comfortable. I was attached to my weave.. and I still dream of the day when my hair is long enough for me to wear in the same styles I used to have sewn-in. 

At the end of the day, I am learning my hair. I know what my hair needs now. I know what products it responds to. I know what it looks like when it's healthy. I don't have to worry about finding a black salon or someone that can do black hair in every city I move to. I am free to move about the country and to travel the world. I can jump into pools and bodies of water on a whim. My hair will sit on top of my head, and not always be in the forefront of my mind. When Phoebe looks at me for the first time, I will be in braids. I want her to know that she is beautiful just the way she was made. She will not watch me fret over my hair. Hair will be just hair to Phoebe and I. It has been such an unnecessary source of stress in my life, and my going natural is about taking that control back. It's about loving myself from head to toe, weaved or not, and being free to wear my hair just the way it is.